Guys — Stop Focusing So Much On Women & Women May Just Come To You

All right guys. This one’s going to get a little personal; a bit of my own personal story, if you will. But there’s a very important lesson here — if you pay attention.

So there’s this girl I’ve been seeing off and on for the past three years. We’ll call her Jen. Jen and I have had a very interesting relationship to say the least. I generally see her one or two times a week. In fact, she is sitting across from me drinking a Bud Light even now as I type this. Of course she doesn’t know what I’m writing (I told her it was a novel).

I could go on for days about how crazy she is…about what a bitch she is…and how psychotic she is. At this very moment, just looking at her gives me all kinds of negative feelings and emotions. I have a rule to never talk negatively about women and so I’ll cut my rant here. The fact is, for whatever reason, I’ve always been drawn to her. She has no heart; she has no soul…but, for some ungodly reason, I’ve been unable to escape…

…until now.

Here is this girl that I would have done anything for. And by anything I mean I would have died for her, raised her kid (a child that’s not even mine), gave her my last dollar — you get the idea. (I may have already gave her my left nut this one time when she drop-kicked me square in the Costco Foot Long).

Three years is a long time to put up with garbage.

So why did I do it? Why did I allow myself to be subjected to less than I deserve, especially given the fact that I consider myself a confident and worthy man?

I really don’t have a solid answer for that.

Maybe I was desperate. No, that’s not it; there were plenty of other girls.

Maybe she was really hot – she is! But physical appearance alone will only get a woman so far — especially if you are a high-value male.

Maybe I liked the challenge – yes, there could be some truth to that.

Maybe I was in love. I very well could have been. But if I was, I don’t think I was in love with her. I was in love with the IDEA of her.

Pay attention to that last sentence. There’s some real gold there for men and women alike.

Yes, it was the IDEA of her that kept me going. I was in love with the idea of what she COULD HAVE BEEN, not with who she ACTUALLY WAS. I always asked myself: what if she could change and become better, more friendly, more human? Or what if I could change her? Yes. What if I could bring some kind of special happiness to her life, make her feel what it’s like to live again, and be the one to show her the light?

While it’s true that people can, and do, change, you must remember they can only change so much. People, by and large, are what they are. Accept them as they are or move on. The only person you should ever try to change and improve is yourself.

Besides, the world has too much to offer. Always remember: there is so much more to life than women. The world is full of adventure and beauty in every day that you’re alive, in every conscious minute, in every breath you take.

So get out there and find your adventure. Live life. Find your purpose and let the women come to you…and they WILL if you’re living a fun, fulfilling, passionate life. Women are naturally drawn to men who are self-sufficient and passionate about who they are, what they do, and where they are going.

Love women…but never NEED them.

So go spend a day with yourself. That’s right, go to the river BY YOURSELF. Go to dinner BY YOURSELF. Or even go out and see a movie — BY YOURSELF! Enjoy it. Revel in it. Appreciate your “you-time.” Appreciate women and their beauty too — but don’t let them consume you. This will ultimately make you more attractive.

As I write this I can honestly say that, for the first time in three years, I no longer feel like I’m suffocating when I think of a life without Jen. True, I still enjoy her company from time to time despite her evil nature. But here’s the kicker: I ENJOY it.

I don’t NEED it.

When you can bring yourself to a place where you love women, you adore women, you respect women…but you NEVER need women — you will be coming from a very powerful frame indeed. And Women will find you infinitely more attractive!

And boy does it ever feel good!

Boy-oh boy-oh boy…

The adventures that lie ahead!

The Two Forces That Drive Women Wild!

What are these forces?

I’ll tell you, but you might laugh. They’re quite obvious. You’ve probably even used them a time or two before.

But, when it comes to meeting and attracting women, they are extremely powerful — even downright dangerous in capable hands.

These forces take many forms, but the core idea and concept behind them remain the same. Let’s have a look:

* Passion and romance
* Love and lust
* Naughty and nice
* Friend and lover
* Physical and emotional
* Attraction and comfort

See the commonalities in each example? Notice the dichotomy? See how these forces are fairly equal, yet, at the same time, opposite?

For the sake of this blog, we are going to focus on ATTRACTION and COMFORT, although any of the above combination’s will do, as they all cater to a woman’s two primary needs: the need to feel loved, and the need to feel desirable.

Let me ask you a question: what makes a friend?

Now, let me ask you another question: what makes a lover?

Now, let me ask you a third question: what makes a powerful intimate and loving relationship that transcends both friend and lover?

The answer lies in the right combination, the right mixture, of the two key ingredients: attraction and comfort (A&C).

Too much comfort = friendship

Too much attraction = fuck buddy (or a relationship without substance).

But if you want the best of both worlds, it’s not enough to simply build A&C with a woman.

It’s also about the timing.

You must learn to sense WHEN to amp up the attraction while, at the same time, understand when to show comfort. Not only must you master the timing, you must also master the quantity of each, for each particular situation. Too much comfort, and she might start losing her attraction for you. Show her too much attraction, and she might think you’re becoming a horny, insensitive guy, who only wants her for her body. Get the idea?

So how important are A&C?

If you can learn the proper balance, and how to leverage them, they may just be the two most important forces in your life, when it comes to women and dating.

In fact, I will take it a step further and say that they ARE the two most important forces when it comes to meeting and attracting women.

If you can treat a woman like a classy, beautiful lady by day…and like a naughty, bad girl by night…

…WOW! you’d better buckle up — because you’re in for a hell of a fun ride!

They key is that you must cater to both needs. You must know when to treat her like a respectable lady, whom you deeply cherish and respect…

…but if that’s all you do — if all you do is love her and comfort her — you’re no different than her father or brother. And she’s not sleeping with them (I hope).

You must also cater to her need to feel naughty and sexy and desirable.

And when you learn to balance these two forces with impeccable timing and just the right of quantity — watch out.

She may never want to leave you.

And, if you choose your woman wisely, you’ll feel much the same.

NOTE: In the next blog, we will examine how you can get away with just about anything with a woman…once you have established proper attraction.